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 I try to be resonsible and sensible motorist now, looking back though,  I once took a French motorway kink chicane 3 wheeling a Pegeout 205 1.9, I'm sure it was into the one hundred mph's,  secondly again in the Gti a motorway bridge over the M25 in the Ockham area was despatched at 90ish.

Forgive me father for I have sinned

Confession thread - I like the idea of that.

Discuss.

Forgive me father for I too have sinned.

I had my company Skoda Octavia vRS remapped to 232 bhp and did not tell anyone at the company or the lease company or the insurance company about it.

I then travelled to Germany and hit an indicated 155 mph on the Belgium motorway.

I have since had inappropriate thoughts of getting the same done to my Alfa 159.

 Please let me know what my punishment is.

Forgive me heavenly father, I too have sinned. It has been three long years since my last confession.

Some 10 years ago, before Mrs Scummyplum was Mrs Scummyplum she was Miss Yummy Student Nurse and we bought our first new car together, a VW Polo 1.0L. I had many unpure thoughts about Student Nurses in addition to the following confession.

We collected it from the dealer and decided to go for a drive and we found ourselves in a little village. Miss Yummy Student Nurse parked the aforementioned car rather badly near a junction so she could nip into a shop and as I followed her, a car came around the corner and hit the bumper of our 2 hour old car and continued on it's way without stopping.

Fortunately, the road was a dead end, so I legged it up the hill after the car. I finnaly caught it when it stopped to park and I approached the window to see a lady who appeared to be putting on some earrings.

I asked why she had driven off after hitting our car but she ignored me, she did not even look at me. I asked again, same response.

I then may have opined loudly that she drove like a 'retard' and that perhaps she should consider getting off the road if she could not recognise the fact that she had just driven into my car.

She then got out of the car with the aid of her previously unseen crutches and attached the calipers to her shoes, she smiled sweetly at me and said that she could not hear what I was saying because her hearing aid was switched off but did I mind repeating myself. I smiled and said that I thought she was someone else and sucked up the cost of the re-spray. And I swore, as I walked away, that I would never, ever chop off at someone in a car again.

I beg the heavenly fathers forgiveness and await some suitable punishment.

Please forgive me for the disgusting habit of picking my nose and flicking it into the passenger footwell.  My reasoning is that if it were to go into the driver's side then the build up could interfere with the control of the pedals...

Oh and literally forgive me father (Mr Law) for driving your car one evening and then having to pee into a water bottle as i could not hold it in.  How was I to know that whilst attempting to empty the contents out of the window, the wind would blow much of it back in...

I once smirked  when a motorcyclist slid off the road in the rain.

Both motorcycle and rider slid along the road, the rider sat upright, then into a very wet and muddy field through an open gate, then came safety to a gentle halt. 

In my defence, I thought it had been a set up. What are the chances of that happening?

 Thats an interesting tale Scummyplum,  I salute your generous and kind conclusion of the situation,  its even quite Christion of you too,  this being the festive time of year I wish you a peaceful and trouble free holidays motoring, ho ho ho

ps  don't you have insurance? 

 I forgive you JON, thousands wouldn't  but You must act immediately on your appropiate thoughts and give that Alfa a lesson it won't forget forewith it will be forgiven.

audilyy:

 Thats an interesting tale Scummyplum,  I salute your generous and kind conclusion of the situation,  its even quite Christion of you too,  this being the festive time of year I wish you a peaceful and trouble free holidays motoring, ho ho ho

ps  don't you have insurance? 

Yes - but £250 on a re-spray or £300 excess to the insurance company. Funny how often that happens don't you think?

audilyy:

I forgive you JON, thousands wouldn't  but You must act immediately on your appropiate thoughts and give that Alfa a lesson it won't forget forewith it will be forgiven.

I would normally, however, I am working for a good company with a good boss and I think I would end up feeling guilty. Not to mention he drives my car when we go on business trips and would surely feel the difference.

 Sometimes I feign looking the other way, pull out and you can catch people out like that, wouldn't recommend it, only when needs must the devil drives,

forgive me for I sin